Wondering if Internet girlfriend is even a woman

Dear Pastor,

I met a girl on the Internet. She showed me pictures of herself and I liked what I saw. A cousin of mine told me to be careful because although she appears to be a woman, she could be a man.

Do you think it is appropriate for me to tell her to show me her whole body because I have doubts? What I mean is, I would like to see her in the nude. I have already invited her to Jamaica and she is excited about visiting. However, after my cousin spoke to me, I had some serious thoughts about what she said.

I do not have a girlfriend. I still live with my grandparents. I am 28 years old and I am in a good job. This lady is 24. I told them about this young woman and they are willing to have her come and stay with us for at least two weeks.

She is a high-coloured girl.

My mother wants to meet her too, but my mother is living with her man and cannot accommodate her. I have my own room and I am very comfortable living with my grandparents. If this girl is a real woman, as I expect her to be, I will propose to her when she gets to Jamaica and marry her before she goes back to America.

What do you say about that?

R.W.

Dear R.W.,

I understand that you're 28 and probably feeling the desire for a good partner. That's natural. But let me caution you: marriage, especially one that involves relocating to another country, is not something to jump into without serious thought.

Even if you were to marry this young woman, there will be a period of separation. Immigration paperwork takes time, and she would need to be in a position to apply for you to join her in the United States. She's only 24 years old, and she must convince the immigration authorities that she's capable of sponsoring you -- either on her own or with the help of family members.

This means she'll have to prove that she can support you financially until you're able to get a job. Ask yourself: what kind of job does she have? How much does she earn? Has she been consistently paying taxes? Does she have any savings? These are all questions that immigration officials will consider carefully.

I've known men who migrated to the US but were never able to sponsor their wives or children simply because they had no proper tax history. And without a reliable tax return, you can't sponsor anyone.

So, here's what I'm really trying to say: don't let a nude photo -- or any kind of emotional excitement -- cloud your judgement. There are bigger, more serious factors you must weigh.

Take your time and think it through.

Pastor