Order Audra's chapbook, Queer Hagiographies
Fill out this form, send me some dollars, and I will mail you a chapbook! I will even sign it. I will google "how to sign a book" and I will sign it.

I mean, yes, you will also be able to buy it from the Headmistress Press website (yay!) or Amazon (yuck), but if you buy it from me then I will get slightly paid, and it can be signed however you desire.

I currently have chapbooks and Queer Root stickers in stock, and all pre-orders have been shipped. Going forward, ETA should be around 2 weeks. INSTANT gratification, basically.
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How much? $15!
That's $12 + $3 shipping. Unless you are coming to the release party at EM Wolfman on April 3rd, or if you feel like we'll probably see each other around then for some other reason, such as hanging out, or attending dance class. In that case you don't have to pay shipping.

If for some reason you want more than one chapbook, I should be able to send multiples in the same envelope for the same shipping cost.
What if I want a sticker?
Add $3 if you also want a sticker. Specifically, a high-quality 2"x4" vinyl sticker of some medieval marginalia depicting a blue root vegetable, aka a Queer Root. I am having these stickers printed because I am obsessed with it. If you want more than one sticker, add more $3es.
Am I even going to like these poems?
Idk, maybe these blurbs from two of the best poets in the universe will help you decide:

"Audra Puchalski is a color theorist disguised as a poet, overlaying sensory hues in defiance of any notion of a primary queer experience. She is playful and studious in turns as all great observers of the sky must be. In Queer Hagiographies, someone is always climbing up to get a better view. The landscape is historical and histrionic: the women collapse in unison. A queer body (are all primary bodies queer and altered by value?) is ripped apart and resembled reverently by Puchalski: a virgin statue shattered, diamond-studded thousand-pound collar, a fainting maiden hair fern. There is no one else who writes like this because there is no one else who has the eyes to see, the palette, and the light."
- Gala Mukomolova, author of Without Protection

"These poems confirm how queer this shit has been this whole fucking time: queer and unbelievably detailed, queer and exclamatory, queer and swollen at its leafy nodes. Read this if you're like: who's the best at line breaks, and how can I be more than a little bit turned on by things I've never considered erotic, and what is time, who am I."
- Hannah Ensor, author of Love Dream With Television
What if I have less (or more) than $15?
If you want a copy but can't pay $15, please still fill out the form and let me know your situation so I at least know you want one—we'll figure something out!

**NOTE: I currently have enough donations to send a book for free! So if you want a copy but can't pay, just say so. Thank you to my generous friends who added a few dollars! And there's no need to pitch in more at the moment.**

[[IGNORE THIS!!!!! If you want a copy and can pay more than $15, and you want to help someone with less access to le funds read about how gay all the saints were, you may chip in a bit extra. This will make us all very happy.]]
How do?
Venmo: @apucha
Paypal: apucha@umich.edu **Please use "SEND TO A FRIEND" option, please—not "paying for an item or service"—thank u**

If you would like to pay another way, or you live outside of the US, or you have questions, or you want to send me a photo of your pet, email me at audrapuchalski@gmail.com.

I'm sorry I can't make a fancy thing that will do the addition for you. Contact me if you want me to do the addition for you, on a piece of paper. I'll send you a pic of my math so you can grade me.

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Emails will be very infrequent, but I don't know, maybe you're like, "Ugh, no! I am a list hater and I abjure all lists!" If so, that's understandable.
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