Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My walk away wife story

Me and my wife have been married 11 1/2 years together for 13 years we have 4 kids ages 10, 7, and a set of 3 year old twins. In early may we got in a fight over how our three year old twins act and she said that I called her a bad parent. She left on monday and stayed in a motel with the kids. On Thursday morning my dad passed away she came home we made all the arrangements and when we were at the cemetery she made the commet that we need to buy some cemetery plots so our kids don't have to make arangments for us. We burried my dad the following Monday one week later I came home from work and she told me the kids were at grandmaws eating dinner, then she told me we had to talk. She told me that she had filed for divorce that day I was served divorce papers on may 19. I bought a book and it started working we were getting along and talking until may 24 when we went to court for tempary orders and she did not get as much child support as she though she was going to get, she became cold and distant. I moved out of the house on may 29th as she got exclusive use of the house in the tempoary orders. The first weekend she didn't have the kids was 6-5-10 she called the kids and told them that she was hanging out with her aunt from out of town. It didn't ring true to me and I got a baby sitter to watch the kids and went and checked on her and found her truck at a local night club. I waited outside until she walked outside holding hands with a man she worked with I watched them kiss on the parking lot then he opened the passenger door and let her in. I drove to my house and watched them drive up to my house then they saw me and ran we exchanged some very harsh text messages that night and the next day I called her a white trash "lady of low morals". On June 16th I counter sued for divorce on grounds of adultery seeking custody of our 4 kids. Since that time I have had very little contact with her except to arrange for the kids. She has called me 3 or 4 times during this time a coupple of days she has been very friendly but most of the time no contact. About mid July my kids told me that she had broken up with the om. Since that time my kids have told me that she has started seeing and old boyfriend her first love and she has had him and his kids over at the house for lunch and that they have all went to a baseball game together. I have ordered the divorce buster books but they have not arived yet. When she first told me that she had filed I ask her about marriage councling and she told me no she was through. At this point it seems like my chances for saving my family are pretty slim. I guess I should have seen this coming but like most men I thought every thing was fine I guess I was the only person surprised by the divorce.

I have just recived a copy of dr I have not had a chance to read it yet I have been doing the no contact since early June sometimes I think it is working most of the time I would say no response. I am thinking of inviting my wife to have dinner with me and the kids Friday night to celebrate our sons 7 birthday it's a week early but I won't have him on his bday. Don't know if I should or not I'm sure she has plans anyway. I have the kids all this week and am amazed at how disconnected she is with the kids when I have them she is always too busy to talk or does not answer when they call she promises to call them back then don't.
This om#2 is very disturbing she dated this guy for six months about 20 years ago they broke up because he cheated on her and got another girl pregnant she broke it off with him but he was her first love and I don't think she ever got over him. My first meeting with him was the day we got back from our honeymoon we ran into him and she started crying. Now she dropped om#1 for him and his girl friend is calling harassing my wife part of me says go full speed ahead with divorce as fast as possible they deserve each other the other half of me tells me I need to be able to look my kids in the eye and tell them I exhausted all resources before the divorce is final. Any inputs from experience would be greatly appreciated I am new to this with less than 3 months since she filed

I am so sorry to hear how much your wife is putting your kids through all of this and how much they are aware of OM. Based on the timeframe it sounds like she initiated the D filing before or right around the time that the fight about parenting where she moved out happened. What that argument that big of a deal for her to leave with the kids? I am thinking she made a bigger deal out of nothing to have an excuse to leave. It also saddens me that she couldn't just go spend the night somewhere but took all 4 kids with her on her wild ride.

No the fight was not that big of a deal she used it as an excuse. She also said I put bruises on one of the twins so she could tell her parents I was a child abuser.

Sad,

This is the second time for me through this, so not sure the value of my advice, but the one guiding principle I stuck by last time was to do only actions that I would be proud of. When I looked back in 6 months time, would I feel good about my actions? I'm trying to hold onto that again this time, told my H that and just pissed him off -- he said I was more honorable than him!

I haven't read DR in awhile so I've been cruising the info threads and two things that stuck out at me are the need to have patience, which is so hard to do right now, and the positive effects of just being their friend. Read the books as soon as you can, they have great advice in them!

The no contact is not having any effect my 2 oldest kids went swimming with there grandmother today my wife showed up the country club where they were swimming with another guy not om 1 or 2 they heard her tell this guy that she couldn't see him tonight.
This woman I don't know.

I have been told that Om1 filed for divorce from his wife if my wife broke it off with him to be with other men there is a really good chance he is not happy with the situation might this be a good time to get the lawyer to contact him and see if he will testify aginst her in our child custody case?
My wifes family is very wealthy and I think he was expecting to cash in

I have a question how do you set boundaries when she is in the driver seat she filed for divorce before I knew it was coming we had zero talks about divorce before she filed she got the kids she got child support she got the house. When she filed for divorce she told me I could see the kids whenever I want that lasted one week. Then she started telling the kids she is only going to let me see them when the judge said I could see them (standard visitation) right now she is in total control the only thing I can do is disconnect as much as possible with 4 kids for two months the only way I communicated with her was text then one day she said she was tired of me acting perfect and blocked my cell phone, then she tried to buy our kids love by buying the 2 oldest new iPhones then after less than one month she cut off service so they could not talk to me she called me and told me if I wanted to talk to the kids I could call her house and leave a message and if the kids went to busy she would have them call me back I quit calling the house and she could not stand it she had the kids call me 3 or 4 times a day then after 2 weeks she started having our 3 year old twins call me and ask why I did not call them any more

As with there is so much more but I don't know what's relavent and what's not.
So far it looks like the only thing I have done right is not beg and plead, I don not talk about the r I bought stop your divorce the day after she droped the bomb and it Coverdale these topics very well and I have tried to act happy

Sounds like you need a new attorney. Is yours any good? You need a real bulldog.

Puppy

Umm dude, did you get an attorney?

Yes I have a lawyer, and I was going to fire him back at the start of July. I went and talked to two lawyers who after listening to my situation both told me not to make any changes because my lawyer is very effective and has a very good working relationship with the judge we have. My wife's lawyer is very aggressive and I have been told when the going gets tough he drops clients.