Sign up. Sign in. Jennifer Schmidt. So, I went on a date with a guy. He was great, I really liked him. He was extremely interesting, had a great back story and he made me laugh.
11 Stupid things men said to me on first dates
He also laughed at my jokes, which was a big plus. A second date was imminent. And after a few weeks,!!! The second date seemed to be even better than the first. We had a real, intellectual conversation and I was truly excited about that. And after a great first kiss, and saying the next date would be bowling, I left with him saying he would text me. While I am usually not one to step outside of my comfort zone and invite somebody out with me, I did chose to do so in this case. I invited him to a band performance I was thinking of going to.We are currently in the middle of day three since I sent the text and I still have no reply. I was discussing this with a guy friend of mine over coffee and he suggested that maybe I intimidated him. I am nice and easy-going! Caveat, I have been told that I am intimidating before. Especially by guys who had different interests than my own. For instance, I love TED talks and reading articles on different topics. The topics are broad.
Your Options: Intimidating or Stupid
Not that I am an expert in any of these topics, but I can carry a conversation. Funnily enough, it was one of these topics that the guy in question and I had discussed on our second date. In fact, I was slightly intimidated by HIM! But I prefer to use the experience as an opportunity to learn more than to close myself off and get defensive. So, as for the conversation with my guy friend, I was frustrated. It seems the options for women are either act stupid or intimidate the guy.I thought we were on an even playing field. And that irks me! While I wait to see if I will find out the reason for the sudden decline in the situation, I am stuck on these two choices. I refuse to dumb myself down to get attention. Psychology Today has published several articles based on research that conclude that men do, in fact, prefer women with average intelligence, 5—7 out of 10 , regardless of their physical attractiveness. The reasons why this is the case are not as clear. Still, others suggest that a man is more concerned about the physical appearance of his offspring, and therefore, intelligence is less important, while for a woman, an intelligent man would be, theoretically , a stronger mate with a higher likelihood to provide for the family. So what does all of this mean?
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e6/66/22/e66622749439effa54a19aab32f4418b.jpg16 People Confess The Moment They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot
The guy in my story could be intimidated by me, or it could be something else entirely. I may never know what went south in my situation, but it did bring up an important topic that I realized should be discussed. Lifestyle turned content marketing and thought leadership writer. I specialize in tech writing and content writing. Find me at: schmidtwrites. Open in app Sign up Sign in. Sign up Sign in. Member-only story.Your Options: Intimidating or Stupid. Published in P. I Love You. Written by Jennifer Schmidt. More from Jennifer Schmidt and P. Tesia Blake.
I would love to date a man who can’t read
And how to get over anxiously waiting by the phone. See all from Jennifer Schmidt. See all from P. Recommended from Medium. Nick Wignall. Stop Telling People Everything.Kris Gage. Alex Mathers. Viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth and resilience. Text to speech. Your partner is already at home, curled up on the sofa with a book. He has not put the water on to boil like you asked because he was too engrossed in reading Normal People. Over dinner, he wants to discuss the book, and also have you read that 10,word essay in the New Yorker about prison abolition that he sent you last week yet? Personally I believe that men are inherently unable to read have you ever sent a man a shopping list with clear instructions only for him to return home with nothing you asked for? So what has caused this shift in dating politics? I always feel so betrayed when a guy tells me he saw my tweet about him
Dating Is Stupid
Sorry to kink-shame, but sapiosexuality is nothing more than a way to inadvertently tell people that you yourself are very smart and clever, while also — in the case of the many famous men that claim to suffer from this affliction — dating conventionally attractive women in their 20s. Essentially, men like the idea of a smart woman as a partner until they are actually confronted with one, at which point they turn into insecure little babies worried that a woman — of all people! Multiple studies undertaken in regards to straight men and the intelligence of their prospective partners show that men often look for inferior levels of intelligence in their female partners. A study found that men are turned off by clever women, unless they are as beautiful as they are smart. Yet another study , published in , found that men are attracted to women who they experience as smarter than them at a psychological and physical distance, yet found them less attractive — both physically and emotionally — when they came in close contact with them.In contrast, women have traditionally found intelligence attractive in a partner; this may have been because male intellect and acumen translate into a higher earning potential. In my experience, I have never found an intelligent man attractive. I went to one of the most prestigious universities in the world and spent my time there being actively sexually repulsed by every man in my vicinity. Men who spend all their time reading books are more likely to try and quote them back at you, or worse, read them to you out loud. They try to explain to you things you know more about than they do.
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This is not to say the men that I have dated have been too stupid to hold a conversation, but the intellect I value is usually of an emotional or strategic variety. One of my favorite boyfriends graduated high school with no qualifications but managed to land himself a place at university using Photoshop; he now earns four times as much as I do. So why are so many other women professing to want what I have? An unflattering reading of the situation might suggest that modern women are purposely seeking intellectually inferior partners in order to have the upper hand in their relationships, much like the way men have traditionally done. Feminism baby! One could argue that actively dating beneath your own intelligence level is a defense mechanism: after all, there are only so many ways a dumb boy can hurt you.Being the smarter one in a relationship puts you in a position of control — and also makes you feel better about your own level of intelligence. For writer Crissy Milazzo , the wish to date an illiterate man is a humorous opinion borne out of content-related exhaustion. That's why I joked about the idea of only dating people who can't read. That would be the perfect way to opt out of that entire ridiculous, day-long and inconsequential discourse over one person's tweet. Like all good jokes, there is nonetheless truth at the heart of it.
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