Embracing Discomfort: The Path to Growth and Fulfilment; No Pain, No Gain: Why Comfort Is the Enemy of Achievement; #FixShoulderPain
Welcome to #FixTheWorld or #GiveUp newsletter no.45
I'm Gareth Wong, and let's Embrace Discomfort this week.
Will keep it short, and let's FixTheWorld.4Good.Space, together, do tell others about this post, this is sunday, #MakeTime.
TLDR
Discomfort and challenges are necessary for growth and fulfillment in all areas of life.
We must get out of our comfort zones and seek difficulties in order to improve ourselves and make a positive impact. (no magic pills!)
This applies to health, personal growth, relationships, business, and contribution to society.
By getting out of comfort zones, leaning into pain and instability, we can achieve greatness and create positive change or even fixing health issues
The key is asking the right questions, discerning (right) answers, and deciding on a better future for ourselves and others.
Key Points
In your personal life/health, seek challenges and discomfort through correcting your posture, daily Isometric/HIIT/Breathing exercises and stretching, lifting weights, etc. (older you are, work harder!)
Right Pain leads to gains = longer lives.
In family life, make time to do seemingly chores like cooking meals (ideally together using home grown or best ingredients), visiting distant relatives, and reconnecting after long absences.
In charity, don't just give adhoc donations to feel good. But think Effective Giving by using empirical research data, or help those truly in need, whether far away or locally.
True Philanthropy: If you can afford it; create foundations that fix the root causes of societal problems and make your own foundation redundant.
In business, make hard choices to reinvest and embrace new trends, even as market leader, disrupt yourself. Help local communities with resources.
Look to companies like Nokia and Nintendo that reinvented themselves by pivoting out of their comfort zones, although Nokia didn't re-invent enough.
Avoid becoming stagnant like Blackberry by not embracing discomfort and change.
Each day, week, and month, challenge yourself to do something new and different instead of falling into routines.
If you are not painful or uncomfortable, then you are falling behind!
Meet new people, be open to different perspectives, and expose yourself to unfamiliar situations.
Empower yourself and others by asking the right questions, discerning answers, and deciding on the future you deserve.
Discomfort will lead to growth, fulfillment, and positive change in all aspects of life. Lean into it.
Read on to see how and what/how you need to THINK whilst you brush your teeth and how to fix your neck and back pain.
Embracing Discomfort: The Path to Growth and Fulfilment
Discomfort and challenges are necessary for growth and fulfillment in all areas of life. While comfort and happiness are worthwhile goals, we cannot rely on them alone if we wish to improve ourselves and make a positive impact on the world. We must push beyond our comfort zones and seek out difficulties in order to gain insight, find success, and create the future we desire.
This principle applies broadly, from our personal development, to relationships with family, to business and philanthropy. By embracing discomfort and instability instead of avoiding them, we can achieve greatness, create positive change, and find a deeper sense of purpose. The key is to ask the right questions, discern thoughtful answers, and decide on the best path forward.
Personal Growth
On a personal level, it's tempting to avoid pain and live for leisure. Watching television, sleeping in, snacking frequently - these are comforting habits. However, pursuing comfort above all makes it difficult to grow. Without discomfort, we have no reason to stretch our abilities or test our limits.
Health is Kung Fu
"功夫是需要时间和耐力" = roughly translated "Kung Fu needs Time + Practice & endurance"
Some of you like me might have some autoimmune conditions that cannot do long strenuous exercise like when we were young, fear not, just stand, but learn to tai chi stand, good explanation of how to start and stop the stand, especially after standing 60mins (use YouTube auto translate):
Actively MEASURE YOUR own empirical health data to track progress is key!
No need to pay for gym, get a smart watch (Apple Watch SE is fine, make sure you active apple care+ as they do go wrong!) or heart strap (like Polar H10) that are industry standards that measure Heart rates HR, and Heart rate variaiblity HRV is key!
Physical health is one area where embracing discomfort is essential. Do we feel pain or instability in our bodies on a daily basis? If not, we likely need to get out of our comfort zone. This could involve, some suggestions below
for me? Breathing & standing Chinese way 氣功 (like japanese manufacturing, kanban methods, continuously relax & balance the body) best isometric exercise that is better than sitting meditation:
氣沉丹田. It's difficult to explain in English, in the west, we have Wim Hoff breathing, we have monk's meditations to resonance diaphragm breathing, we chinese have ancient practice & idea of dantian, and foundation 'standing gi gong 站樁氣功 ' this video explains very well, 10-30mins, 60mins is even better:
Correcting posture. Slouching feels natural, but fixing posture frequently causes discomfort. This discomfort leads to new posture thus long-term physical benefits. (try hanging from a bar, no need to move, just hang, 1-2mins, build up strength of shoulder, extend lumbar spine, strengthen core. Shoulder pain book by John Kirsch MD)
Daily exercise and stretching. Pushing our muscles and cardiovascular system beyond their comfort zone is the only way to increase endurance, strength, flexibility. Most men loose muscles mass at 3-5% per decade past 30yrs and 30% during lifetime.. unless:
Lifting weights. Muscle growth requires the micro-tears and exhaustion from lifting amounts near our limit. Hand carry all your shopping (hands or shoulders).
Trying new sports or activities. The unfamiliarity and challenge of new sports quickly pushes us beyond our comfort zone. Any Sports, no brainer!
Fixing diet. Eliminating unhealthy Ultra processed foods that causes overeating, with no micronutrients and induce cravings. Try to eat food in its original whole food form, or prepare home cooked meals that provide macro & micro nutrients. As famed author Michael pollan Pollan says "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants"
Increasing walking. Going from a sedentary lifestyle to XXXX steps per day leads to better health. 10,000 steps was arbitrary, so get out.. or get a dog that forces you to get out. Or if like me, you don't have time, then increase 'weight', putting heavy shopping into rucksack & 'Ruck' like soldiers are easy way of low impact high cardio vascular exercises! Ideally go barefoot also!
Running. Jogging is extremely difficult and painful when we first start. But gradually, we build endurance and speed. however, once you join the tribe, its addictive, and it is a rabbit hole as you would join the peers that want you to do half marathon, full marathon, triathlons, iron men/women etc. but its healthy addictions!
Holding difficult yoga poses. The discomfort and instability of poses like crow pose or one-legged downward dog eventually creates more flexibility, balance, and stability. (for me, just brushing teeth one legged for one minute each side every morning)
Physical discomfort is a sign we are growing. If our main goal is feeling comfortable, we will remain stagnant. Have you had friends & family that was hospitalised and bed bound and was a different person after only a couple of weeks? muscles get wasted rather quickly, so, despite the pain, discomfort, unless you are in physical danger, it is always good to move (unless you were like me caught covid before vaccine arrival, and I'm still rebuilding my strength after bed bound for almost 3 weeks).
We must embrace some level of pain and instability to become happier, healthier versions of ourselves.
Mental and emotional health also requires regular discomfort. Challenging our perspectives leads to growth. Stepping outside our social circles leads to new connections. And confronting our fears builds confidence. Discomforts we can lean into include:
Having complex, nuanced conversations on difficult topics. This exercises our intellect and empathy.
Meeting regularly with a therapist. This can uncover painful history, but allows healing. (not done this myself, but don't dare going down that rabbit hole!)
Expressing our needs assertively. Advocating for ourselves is often uncomfortable initially.
Admitting our flaws and ignorance. Acknowledging issues makes growth possible. (yup I do that often, maybe and often too late!)
Subjecting our beliefs to scrutiny. Questioning our assumptions can be destabilizing but liberating.
Exposing ourselves to different cultures. The unfamiliarity breeds awkwardness and insight.
Facing phobias. Growing through fear requires facing fearful situations.
With relationships, hobbies, career, and more, we must consistently push past comfort. Daily challenges prevent stagnation and spur growth. Discomfort indicates where our greatest opportunities for improvement lie.
This is important, relating to GRIT by Prof Angela Duckworth :
Family Relationships
In family life, discomfort often comes from taking on responsibilities, reconnecting after time apart, and sharing honesty. These actions strengthen bonds, even when difficult (at times).
Many shirk household duties because they seem tedious or uncomfortable. But families function best when members contribute. There is much transferrable skills that you can learn and practice at home that can attain transferrable skills into business world.
Therefore, it may help to lean into tasks like:
Cooking meals for the whole family. Planning, shopping, prepping, and cooking daily is time-consuming. But it provides nourishment and ideas to improve on recipes, learning culture, and if you pay attention to cost of produces, speak to local farmer markets, price of goods, and start learning profit margins, location costs, staff costs, you might be able to become next 'chef'.!?
Cleaning the house regularly. Scrubbing bathrooms, mopping floors, and dusting is laborious. But it creates a pleasant environment. Do you think all those instagram posts were that clean and nice? they prepared the location first, by helping out cleaning, it is meditative, and you can think about different scenario, why/how the author of "maid" the novel and how she thinks about money & welfare after the book became hit TV series and she become a successful author to boot.
Running errands. helping family or old neighbours to go to stores for groceries, prescriptions, dry cleaning, etc. takes time. But it serves a purpose, helping others help yourself ultimately.
Gardening, Doing yardwork. Mowing the lawn in summer, raking leaves in fall, and shoveling snow in winter is physically demanding. But it maintains the property. If you think and expand, decide to go green, you can be the next gardening god/dess and or enterpreneurs that create yard work network.. think and mediate beyond what you are doing as 'chores' but inspirations.
Managing family finances. Paying bills and balancing accounts each month can be monotonous. But it enables saving and prevents problems. if you are young, start looking at financial literacy, what is compounding, what is investments?
Helping children with homework. Explaining math concepts and editing essays takes patience. But it helps kids learn. and tutoring and mentoring is not only skills to earn short change, they are life skills and it helps you learn as you explain things to people, literally, double benefit!
Many more chores/ tasks often get skipped because they make us uncomfortable. But families suffer when no one steps up. Discomfort is part of contributing meaningfully. If everyone chip in, less resentment and build more cohesive family structure and pave your way for the society!
Reconnecting with distant or estranged relatives also breeds discomfort (you probably thought, who cares!). After months or years apart, visiting extended family can feel awkward (even unnecessary). But preserving bonds across generations has value. Discomfort is part of reestablishing closeness.
Similarly, openly discussing family problems or expressing hurt feelings causes discomfort. Voicing critiques seems divisive. However, hashing out tensions thoughtfully strengthens bonds. Speaking truth with care builds trust. You only have one family that (hopefully) cares about you. If not, like friends the TV series, you need to find your own trusted family/tribe.
Discomfort fosters family growth. Performing thankless tasks, mending rifts, and voicing concerns prevents stagnation in relationships. Family requires continually moving beyond comfort.
Business and Career
For professionals, defying comfort is key to staying competitive. In rapidly changing fields, complacency is dangerous. We must make decisions that feel difficult but drive growth. Case in point is Artificial Intelligence, in 2024 it is not to argue if that could affect jobs or careers, it is about whether you start learning about it, and if not, why not? I've already written what AI to learn for the youth and older generations, it is NOW you need to get acquainted, if not, you could be replaced or the youth that knows the technology will be giving you orders (if you still have a job then). Implementing the right technology is key, hallucination is the biggest drawback at present, so beware of not jumping in too quickly also, especially for the big corporates:
Even successful companies face this challenge of whether/how and when to adopt new technology or innovations. When sales are strong, it’s tempting to enjoy profits & sail. However, without reinvesting in people, products, and innovations, a company could easily becomes obsolete.
Professionals should make a habit of asking, “What uncomfortable decisions will further my organization and my personal career?” Some examples include:
Spending significantly on research and development. This depletes current finances but allows long-term viability. or donate /force staffs to innovate using 20% of their work time on special dedicated projects based on their own initiatives like Google, this is how they developed Gmail for example.
Replacing outdated technology. Transitioning to new systems is costly and disruptive initially. But it boosts efficiency. However, don't just swap from a big vendor to another, try to find 'better' solution, software as a service may had been a solution before, but with arrival of LLMs, how products, services are developed AND consume and used by B2B and B2C users might shift/change in 12 months or less!
FOCUS by Eliminating unproductive aspects of the business. Cutting failing projects, products, or services hurts initially but focuses resources. Apple become success when Steve Job rejoined cut most of the product lines & focus the company.
Taking on vital but thankless roles. The most needed jobs often lack glory or ease. But they drive success.
Learning new skills outside our comfort zone. Mastering unfamiliar material expands capabilities. Reason why Steve Jobs was successful was he took drugs (not recommended), chants/meditate and studied design/Calligraphy, what are your quirky side skills? start it now!
Offering criticism constructively. Giving candid feedback discomforts receiver and giver. But it prevents bigger issues. Kim Scott 's excellent service and book highlights how important Radical Candor is!
Collaborating with difficult partners. Some coworkers have abrasive styles. But shared goals demand cooperation. find a way...
Admitting ignorance. Saying “I don’t know” is humbling yet opens the door to growth.
Applying for roles that seem out of reach. Reaching for promotions that seem improbable builds skills. others might give you advice of how to grow your own skillset like Sheryl gave to Kim (see her book above).
Starting side businesses. Developing new ventures with uncertain prospects uncovers strengths. maybe as part of you doing chores at home, 20% time of work, or indeed use your 20% time at home, instead of laying around, using skills/insights gained whilst doing chores or your new hobby, think about the businesses you could bring value to whom, where, and for how much?
Discomfort maximises a business's potential. Companies must reinvent themselves continually. Professionals should make growth and learning priorities, not comfort.
This holds true even after achieving success. It may seem appealing to relax and enjoy accomplishments once reaching senior roles. However, true leaders continue challenging themselves.
For example, an executive could learn entirely new functions like marketing after years in engineering. Or a CEO could take a failing brand and reinvent it like Steve Jobs did with Apple.
Lifelong discomfort and hands-on learning prevents decline and provide opportunities to thrive.
Finally, those experiencing great success should use resources to give back. Helping the local community adds new fulfillment. Companies can donate a portion of profits to ethical causes (like gr8.pub or goodwatchers.org ). Leaders can mentor young professionals. Discomfort means growth, and growth enables giving.
Philanthropy and Service to community
Philanthropy provides meaning when we move beyond our comfort zone. Donating money is simple, but real change requires engaging deeply. This means:
Researching effective charities, not just well-marketed ones. Analysis and discernment lead to high-impact giving. from Effective Altruism to Giving What We Can, we can measure the empirical good your money can provide. Equally, your local charity might not be as effective, but it may also be great if you can help out people locally, choice is yours of how you want to do good.
Volunteering significant time, not just writing a check. This allows interacting with the people and problems. Volunteering is not for everyone, time value of money means you are also giving up valuable Time with family or loved ones, why not get them involved also!? many religion from Christianity, Sikhism to Islam in fact mandate their followers to give back and contribute to community, in our secular world, we are sadly missing this part of our humanity.
Developing first-hand experience of issues. Immersing ourselves in crises and suffering motivates action.
Lobbying governments. Advocating policy changes that address societal issues is time-consuming but powerful. This is especially the case if you are U/HNWs who already had or are holding position of influence or can in fact influence politicians, it is just a small thing you can help with that might leave a long legacy and if not at least a bandaid that might help hundreds if not thousands of people, at marginal cost to you only!
Creating foundations. Substantial giving requires structure. Establishing transparent, ethical organizations amplifies impact. for family dynasty friends, no doubt you have your own name sake foundations already, some not for purely tax purposes like the nouveau riche.. you could do great things if knowing the right questions to ask.. or join forces with another foundation to fix the cause of some societal ills, even if it was quirky things like litter on the street?
Funding true solutions, not just alleviating symptoms. For instance, donating to fix societal ills that lead to children leaving home that feeds into homelessness, drugs and exploitations and then vicious circle that ensues future generations.. that is an interesting task at hands?
Investing in local communities. Neighbourhood engagement fosters belonging and prosperity. help run the residence association not because of the power it gives you but truly for benefit of others!
Again, avoiding discomfort limits positive impact. We must learn to lean into messy, frustrating work for social change, fixing one thing at a time. Mountains of paperwork, late night meetings, phone calls with bureaucrats - these uncomfortable tasks enable progress when funded ethically.
And engagement must go beyond money. John D. Rockefeller gave over $500 million to many causes from educations to religious & scientific causes, also eradicating hookworm disease in US.
Or look at Mother Teresa. She provided hospice care to the critically ill and impoverished, sitting beside society’s outcasts in their darkest moments. Her service came from empathy and sacrifice, not mere donation.
Lasting help requires rolling up our sleeves, not tossing spare change. Our discomfort fuels others’ growth.
The Path Forward
Ultimately, embracing discomfort leads to fulfillment and positive change in all aspects of life. The challenges we face daily, overcoming procrastination, if leaned into, offer opportunities to improve ourselves and our world.
My Poem:
迎难而问，洞悉生命；拓展能力，专注成长。付出全部， 明命之意。
By welcoming difficulties and questioning assumptions, we gain insights. By expanding our capabilities and focusing on growth, we achieve success. And by giving ourselves fully, we find meaning.
Discomfort reveals where we need improvement. Runners hurt as their body strengthens. Students struggle as their intellect grows. Leaders sacrifice as their influence spreads. Artists challenge preconceptions as their audience expands.
Seeking discomfort is a lifelong endeavor. What new skills can be built? How can I allocate my time and resources (wisely without squandering it)? What support do my loved ones need? What local and global problems can I help address (if only to start thinking about)? Our discomfort empowers first steps of finding solutions.
Of course, reckless self-harm helps no one. Seeking positive challenges is not the same as self-sabotage. We still require rest, leisure, health, and care. Balance is key. Yet too much comfort leaves little room for growth. Move beyond what feels easy and familiar, often.
Start by asking probing questions in each area of life: How can I improve physically, mentally, emotionally? How can I strengthen my family and community? How can I learn, advance my work, and mentor others? How can I contribute to overcoming social problems? Reflect, then lean into what feels difficult but right.
Choose the harder road initially.
By embracing discomfort, we open the door to fulfillment. Though simplicity and ease appeal to us, we are called to higher purposes that require sacrifice and struggle. With care, wisdom and grace, may we have the courage to say yes to the challenge, yes to the task at hand. Our collective future depends on it.
Let's together FixTheWorld.4Good.Space